OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD 2012

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THE BITTERNESS

What is my deal? I like going to church. My hubs teaches the adult Sunday school class. But over the last few weeks my heart is so fill with animosity and bitterness. It is directed at the Pastor. I think it began around Christmas. About a week before Christmas I helped the youth director take the youth group Christmas caroling. Before we went caroling we had a pizza party for the kids and after we got back from caroling we had a gift exchange and movie night as well as a sleep over.



The following Sunday the Pastor had come down to the Sunday School class I was helping with. We shook hands and greeted each other. I then said "We sure missed you at the Pizza party and Christmas caroling friday night!" He the replied " I had no intentions of being there"........the tone of his voice was abrupt.



I really did not have a reply. I was stunned. Since then I really don't have much to say to him. My feelings are that as a Pastor he should make an appearance and support the activites fo the church and espically the youth. Am I wrong about that? The church is a small neighboorhood church, attendance is about 75 people. We have attended for about 4 years. I love the people there. I just have no time for the pastor.

There is more to tell, but I think this is it for now.



Please pray for this "Bitter Old Hag".

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are not a bitter old hag; your feelings are hurt. And I totally understand. Maybe you could meet with the Pastor and discuss why he answered the way he did? Let him know how you feel? He is only human, and maybe he has a reason for the way he answered. I hope this is just one big misunderstanding; it would be a shame to lose your church family over it. Good luck and blessings.

Mama of 2 said...

I would have been stunned too had I been addressed in the manner to which you discribed.
I too would have a difficult time with addressing this Pastor now. I am not one to forgive or forget easily. It's something I have been working very hard with in my walk with God.
I agree with anonymous when suggested that you discuss it with the Pastor. You might be able to get things straighten out by doing it.

Brooke (Dollar Frugal) said...

Maybe he was having a bad day and needed some attention? I'm sorry to hear that he acted that way and I hope you get this problem resolved. You're not the hag, he was for that one moment!

Lisa said...

anonymous, Thanks for understanding. He may have had other things on his mind, and I have to remember it is not always about me. ( I just like to think so :))

Mamma of 2, I am with you on forgiving and forgetting. It is definitely a stumbling block to my spiritual growth and I am very aware of it. But at the present time I just don't care!

Brooke,

Maybe Iwas have the bad day and was just a little too sensitive. I will need to work on that too.

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to share your thoughts! I appreciate it greatly. And I will keep you posted on the bitter old hag status. :)

Anonymous said...

As a previous pastor's wife, I think you might be misunderstanding him. Pastor's are often expected to go above and beyond their jobs as their "duty" to the church. There really is no reason for the pastor to be there if he is not the youth pastor.

Being at any church event is "being at work" for a pastor. Your pastor shouldn't have to be at every church event, just as most people aren't expected to be at every meeting & event that occurs at their place of work.

Being a pastor is an extremely difficult and stressful job. Pastors need time away from church activities. They are often expected to be "on call" 24/7 and this gets to be extremely stressful. You are often expected to be all things to all people all the time and this is emotionally draining. A good pastor is one that enables his congregation to take ownership of ministries so he doesn't have to be at each and every event.

Needless to say, being in the ministry proved to be too draining for us because people always expected us to be everywhere all the time. My husband left the ministry and we are much happier & healthier now, emotionally and physically.

Please, give you minister a break and don't expect them to be everywhere all the time. They need time away. They often don't feel appreciated for all they do, since most often people spend their time pointing out all the things they aren't doing or are doing wrong. Just because this is your place of refuge doesn't mean it's the same for your pastor, in fact churches are often the source of much pain for their pastors.

Maybe, as you were hurt by your pastors response, he was hurt by your question, thinking you were implying that he wasn't doing his job. Give him the benefit of doubt. He has a really tough job and probably isn't feeling very appreciated at the moment.

~Cindy~ said...

the last anonymous poster said it beautifully, as a pastor's wife I think every church member should have to walk in the pastors shoes for a month and then they would realize how petty that some of their complaints are.
~C~

Lisa said...

Thank you so much anonymous, you really gave me a reality check and I needed it!

Cindy,,,, you are right. Everyone should have to walk in their pastor's shoes a time or two.

Mama of 2 said...

I would have been stunned too had I been addressed in the manner to which you discribed.
I too would have a difficult time with addressing this Pastor now. I am not one to forgive or forget easily. It's something I have been working very hard with in my walk with God.
I agree with anonymous when suggested that you discuss it with the Pastor. You might be able to get things straighten out by doing it.

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