For those that have been regular readers over the last year or so, you all are probably familiar with my oldest son, J. He is grown, in his early 30's and is most likely bi-polar. He has not been officially diagnosed..... but his cycles of deep depression and hyper mania are definite signs ( in my unofficial opinion).
Since his traumatic brain injury in May 2010, his episodes have become more pronounced and the emotional drain for those around him ( or just me) has also increased. Oh yes, the alcohol does not help him either. Two weeks ago, he was in a deep depression and was crying and in his mind his life was over. I chose to go over to his apartment so he would not be alone by himself and be there if he needed anything. Depression sucks! I have had episodes of it and it does feel as if you have nothing to live for.
As his mom, I want him and all my children to be happy and well adjusted. We have talked about getting him counseling, and he acknowledges that he needs it. He then will quickly say he has no money for it and has to wait for his insurance to kick in. I suggest AA, or church.... and he has reasons for not attending those either. Oh yes,...... I see the manipulation that he has going on. Well, at least most of the time I do.
For now, we just take one day at a time. He is probably in his manic phase, ( constant and rigorous working out, highly goal oriented, "happy" and seems to have a better out look). I must say that prayer has been working for both him and myself. And with God's help, J will take the steps he needs to achieve a normal life.
Thanks to all of you who left kind and supportive comments with my last post. The genuine support touched my heart and meant more than you can know. For now, I am happy to be back blogging. I "love" this virtual world and have missed interacting with all of you.
20 comments:
Lisa,
I know, as a Mom, how hard it is when a child is hurting...or in this case an adult child (which I think makes it worse...less control!) I'm glad things have calmed down a bit...I'm hoping J can get the help he needs. In the meantime, take care of YOU.
Sending {{{hugs}}}}!!
I'm so glad you helped him through a tough time, and that you are back! Adult children are so much harder than minors to help, as a parent you want to dive in but then you have to step back and ask yourself if what you want to do is really best for the kid long term. Sounds like you are striking a good balance, and yes, as Sharon says, take car of you.
As a parent I can relate to wanting to continue to care for the needs of your children. It is hard to watch a grown child struggle. I wish you and your family the best and welcome back Lisa!
Thanks Sharon! I know you have been with me through the tumultuous times in the past, and I do so appreciate it!
Hi Marie,
Adult children can definitely be a challenge!! Thanks for your support!
Thanks so much! Parenthood no matter what the child's age can be such a challenge!
I am so glad you are back, we all missed you. My first husband was bipolar schzophrenic and it is so hard sometimes just to get through the day dealing with it. Please take care of yourself also!!!
Judy
And WE love YOU!! So glad you'll be back to regular season programming:) As parents, we do what we can without asking for anything in return. I remember my mother saying to me (I was in my 40's) that no matter how old I got she'd still be my mother. I miss her so much. Once a parent, always a parent, through the good and the bad. And THAT's what makes the world keep going round - MOTHERS!
Sending you HUGS!
Glad to hear everything is starting to look up and that you are in a place where you are both "happy" which is a great start. Like you said, just take it one day at a time and enjoy each successful day as it comes. :-)
Oh Lisa!! :( (((hugs))) I'm so sorry for what you & your son are going through right now... I will keep you both in my prayers. You're a wonderful mother for putting your son first! The world needs more like you!! Hang in there!!
Lisa, glad you are back. Good that J is recovering. Empty mind is devil's workshop, encourage him to engage in doing something worthwhile in his free time.
Be it part time job or writing for your blog or you may open a niche site according to his expertise. Once he's occupied with something he'll figure out the way on his own.
He's doing OK for now but depression might cheap in anytime unless he's constantly busy with something my own brother suffers from it frequently.
I am glad you are back! You and your son will definitely be in my prayers. It is such a blessing to read about your care for him, I know it must be hard for a parent to see a child suffer or struggle in any way. I do know that God will give you the strength through all of it!
So glad to have you back. You are a great mother for supporting your son and wanting the best for him. Family comes first! -Sydney
Thanks for the kind words. And depression is definitely a challenge for everyone. I wish you the best for your brother too.
Thanks for your prayers! God is faithful!
Thank you Carla. I appreciate your prayers!
Each day is a gift! Thanks for the well wishes!
Thanks for the love Jane!! Yes, we do anything and everything for our kids. That will never stop, will it :)
Thanks Judy! For now things are going pretty smooth!
Thanks so much!! Sometimes it is so darn hard to watch them fall down...
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