Third Time is Not A Charm

There is a pattern here that is repeating itself. It involves my oldest son, a 34 year old electrician......with a drinking problem. This weekend, he was in a fender bender. He rear-ended a Mercedes at a stoplight. He did stop and he exchanged information with the driver Mercedes. The police were called and while they were waiting for the police to arrive he called me.


Usually when he calls at night, late at night it's never a good thing. He proceeded to tell me that he was in an accident and that he's been drinking and that he knows he is going to jail. So what do you say when your son calls you with that information? I guess you don't want to get that call from a child but when you do what you say?

I just agreed with him that yes he should not have been drinking and yes he should not have been driving and yes he's going to jail. After the cops got there and he was arrested I called his sister to let her know. His truck which is paid for isn't her name so he could afford the insurance. We just wanted to make sure that no one was hurt during this accident and so far as we know there were no injuries except the vehicles in question.

This is his third time being charged with the DUI. We don't know what his bloodbath blood alcohol level was. He refused the breathalyzer which results in automatic license suspension of 12 months. Florida law is pretty clear when this is your third time being charged and convicted of a DUI.

You stand to lose your license for 10 years. You will pay between $2000 and $4000 in fines. You will pay for your counseling. You pay for everything when you're charged and convicted of a DUI. And you will serve a mandatory 30 days in Jail at least!

This is such a mess for our family. I should say it's more of a mess for my son but the no matter how hard we try it tends to affect us as well. Of course this involves money. My children inherited CDs for my mom. But the CDs are in a safe deposit box in the bank. And mom's estate is going through probate so we don't have access to that safety deposit box or herother bank accounts.

The boy is going to need some money for his lawyer. And God knows, he needs a lawyer this time. I'm going to let him borrow money from his lawyer against his inheritance. He will sign a paper stating that I will get back when he borrowed from his inheritance so I won't be out anymore money.

There's another fly in the ointment with the story. I rented my mom's house to him and his girlfriend for operating costs to help them out. Yes, I do know that I am an enabler. But I always have eternal hope for his success. But I might be the problem for him to obtain his success because I do enable him all the time. My concern is that was when he goes to jail for his mandatory 30 days how's the rent going to be paid? His girlfriend is not stable, can't hold a job and is part of his problem too.

The plus side of this is that they only signed a six-month lease. So at the end of December the will be looking for a new place to live. That's if things don't go smoothly and the rent is not paid. I have a feeling that the girlfriends mother would pay the rent just so the girlfriend wouldn't have to move back home. So I probably don't have to worry too much about the rent being paid.


What I'm truly hoping for with this third arrest for his DUI, is that he will go to rehab. He needs help, and we want him to get better. He doesn't see that he needs rehab he thinks counseling will do it. I think it's time for us just to let him go and let God continue the work in him. I have put my son on my Sunday school prayer list for a long time. I just have to let God take over and I have to stop enabling him. But honestly, it's going to be hard for me to stop. I have done it for so long.

He meets with hs lawyer today so we should have some news later on about the outcome of the situation. He's going to get the truck out of his sisters name and into his girlfriend's name. I think that's a mistake, but that's his mistake to make. I think he just needs to have lose everything to realize that he does need serious serious help.



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Taking a Step

 

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I am not ready to sell mom's house yet.  So, I have decided to keep it for at least a year and rent it to my oldest son for operating costs.  This includes taxes,insurance and yard upkeep.  This will definitely help him out.  He will be closer to work which will save on his gas and tolls not to mention the cost of rent.


My husband and I prayed about this decision and we felt led to go this direction.   My son's goal is to buy a house.  His financial history is a bit muddy due to a long hospitalization in 2010 due to a brain injury and layoff during 2010/2011.   He has issues. Lots of them.   But..... we all mutually agreed that by renting the house to him for a year this will provide him the best opportunity for him to rebuild his credit (  recover from a bankruptcy in 2012)  AND save towards the down payment of his own home.


This weekend my husband and I will be busy packing up mom's house and distributing some of the furniture to the other kids.  Mom has a two car garage and we will be boxing up the majority of her household items and store them there.  When the weather cools off, we will be having a garage sale.


What would mom think about this?   She did have a special place in her heart for our oldest son.  I think she would approve of him moving into her house.  His girlfriend and her daughter will be moving in too.  Our family tolerates his girlfriend.  My son likes to pick girlfriends that seem to have more issues than him.  He tries to fix them.  Yeah.... that never works.  We tell him he should work on his own issues first, but you know that advice falls on deaf ears.



 Headed to Orlando today to visit my students at their clinical sites.  That usually takes about 3 hours. Then I will be going to mom's to pick up any mail that has not been forwarded and to assess the amount of boxes I will need for packing this weekend.  I was not expecting to do anything with mom's house for awhile.  But, I am glad that I have a reason to move forward with her estate.  This is a step in the right direction for me.

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Another round of Momma Drama

Just checking in, mom has been having a few more health issues so we have all been busy around here. Looking forward to getting back to our normal soon.
I will be checking in again soon.

Sunday Night Chit Chat

I wanted to share this collage for a family calendar.  My oldest son (the one in the pic with just his dad, and just me) struggles. We pray that he will find happiness but the family is fairly convinced he struggles with chemical imbalances.  He will not get the help he needs.  This has been an extraordinarily difficult weekend for him.  


  
Love Sunday Night Chit Chat.  Sometimes I can't think of anything interesting to post and this definitely helps.  Do you ever run out of things to post about?

• Reading:  My coworkers have turned me on to books on tape (or CD) and I am on my second book already.   My first book was "Water for Elephants" which was truly awesome.  I am now "reading" Limitations.  Different, but still pretty good.

• Listening to:  Pandora more specifically the Nora Jones station.  Easy listening.  Christmas music is gone for now.

• Watching:  Not watching anything at the moment, but I will be watching Ax men later on tonight.

• Cooking/Baking:  I have been doing better on cooking in general.  Tonight was baked chicken, yellow rice, and roasted carrots.  

• Happy you accomplished this week:  I am happy that I can take mom to her chemo appointments and doctor appointments as well as work both part time jobs and list a few things on eBay.

• Looking forward to next week:  Have a few less appointments to go to. Lol!

• Thankful for today:  I am thankful that I have my family, and most especially my mom semi living with us.  It is a great opportunity to get to know her on a different level.  And hopefully, she will learn a few things about me that she did not know. :)
  
  
• Bonus Question: Have you ever received a gift you were less than thrilled with? Did you feel like you had to keep/use it in order to spare feelings from getting hurt? 

Oh yes.  my husband ( a kid at heart and will never change)  feels it necessary to buy expensive gifts for my birthday and Christmas.  I have a lot of jewelry that I will never wear because I just don't care to. I have to word my requests very carefully lol!

Still a Rollercoaster Kinda Thing

When I last posted on Friday, everything was going smoothly.  Mom did will with her brain/scalp surgery and was alert and seemingly unaffected.  Until Saturday.

I called her Saturday morning to check on her to see how she was doing and if she needed anything.  The nurse answered the phone.  She said mom was not functioning cognitively( she could not state where she was, her name and so on).  I asked to speak to her and mom could only respond with "okay", and nothing else.

I again spoke to the nurse and said asked her if she was given her seizure meds the previous night, the nurse checked the chart and said "no".  There was no order for that in her charts. That immediately angered me and I said I will be down to see mom as soon as I can.

Meanwhile,mom's nurses tried to get her to take her meds after our phone call, but mom could not swallow.  Translation:  she was having seizure.  Again.  The seizure or set of seizures were so severe that she was immediately taken to ICU.  Before she went to ICU, they did an emergency CAT scan to check her surgical site.  That was negative.  Meanwhile mom was still experiencing seizure activity and was unable to communicate with her nurses.

We arrived at her old room at about this time.  Her room was empty and her nurses were trying to catch us up on what had transpired and take us to the ICU to see her. At that time we were directed to wain in the ICU waiting room.

After she was given a room in ICU, they transported her to  get an MRI, but during her trip to get the MRI she became unstable and stopped breathing.  They immediately transported her back to ICU and intubated her.  Yes, they put her on a respirator.

We did not know this awhile we were in the waiting room, but a doctor did come in and asked if thy could put in a central line to give caustic medications to regulate her heart and get that under control.  Of course we said yes.

Hours passed by and we have still not seen my mom.  But then her nurse did come out and talked to us and told us that yes, mom was intubated and sedated so they could get her seizures under control. And we could go back and see her.

I have worked in the hospital and have performed many an ultrasound exam on an ICU patient, so I knew what to expect.  Kinda.

Mom's room was quiet and dark.  she lay there with tubes of all kind coming out of her body.  We watched the monitors and I was mesmerized.  The nurse asked us to be quiet and not stimulate mom as she would become agitated and try to pull out the tubes.  so my husband and I just stood there, watching mom and the monitors.  We did not stay long.  I never felt so helpless in all my life.


Fast Forward:  Within 24 hours mom became more stable and they took her off the respirator. We went back the next day to see her in ICU and she was alert and talkative. Her sentences were not real clear but she did know us and was able to communicate.  Day two ofter coming off the respirator, mom was more of her normal self.  They transferred her to a regular room and she is doing fairly well.  I am going to see her at lunch today and talk to her doctors.


 I still do not know what effects this last seizure episode had on mom.  Her diagnostic tests are all negative, but there are some definite after effects.  Time will tell.

One of these days, I will again post on my financial ups and downs.  In fact, I am looking forward to being able to do just that!  Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and support.  It is much appreciated.


 

The Rollercoaster Ride Never Ends

Here we go again.  It sounds like I am repeating myself, doesn't it? Unfortunately it seems that mom can't catch a break lately.  We went to see her radiation oncologist Thursday.  This was an urgent follow up by her primary oncologist regarding the biopsy on her scalp.   The surgeon (who was not affiliated with MD Anderson)  said the pathology report came back positive for her breast cancer and it mets to her scalp.  He removed the stitched and call her oncologist and gave him the results.

(upcoming images of wound are kinda graphic, just a warning)


this is pic of wound 2 weeks ago 

That was about two weeks ago.

The biopsy site has not healed and the the incision site has become bigger.  It resembles a non healing ulcer (about the size of a quarter) on the top of her head.  The radiation oncologist was GREATLY concerned about this and was livid at the job the surgeon did on her biopsy.

He told us that the non healing wound will not heal because her scalp has had radiation previously AND the mesh from the previous craniotomy in 2011 is exposed.  The mesh is like a foreign body in her and the scalp tissue will not cover it.  Translation:  Big gaping hole in her scalp with INCREASED risk for life threatening brain infection.


This is what would looks like two days ago

The radiation doctor called the team brain surgeon ( did previous craniomoty) and now a plastic surgeon for a consult.  When they are looking at the hole in mom's scalp you can see the shock and anger in their face.  These guys work fast.  Now mom is scheduled for surgery Friday, February 1st.  Brain surgeon is going to remove the mesh and Plastic surgeon is going to use the skin on her scalp to cover the wound.  This upcoming week is pre admittance testing and a repeat CAT scan to get exact measurements and location of mesh in her skull.

Is this not the craziest thing you have ever heard?

Yesterday, I took a half day off work for a "mental health" day.  After all that information on Thursday,  my brain was on information overload.  I was done. Stick a fork in me..

But there is an upside to all this.  Mom has been financially generous to me and my children and I am able to really get my debt numbers down.  More on that very soon. 

Monday: Thoughts and Potential Plans

This is my goal :)

There is some serious thinking going on.  Yesterday while at the park with my grandson, I was able to talk to my husband about letting the job at the college go.  It is a part time position that may or may not lead to a full time position.  That would not occur for about 4 years, at least as it pertains to the ultrasound program. 


My other part time job in mobile ultrasound is three days a week and I am pretty much okay with this job.  It is more physically demanding, but manageable. We also talked about spending more time with eBay and pushing that to the next level.  First we have to figure out where the business is at now.  Okay, right now it is on auto-pilot as I have not had the time to commit to it.   Not like there has not been a lot going on in our home.....

My thoughts are for the future and how my mom will fit in to the plans.  Her health is pretty good, at least as far we know.  Tuesday we go to the oncologist to find out what here tumor markers are and if there will be radiation for the cancer on her scalp.  But that information will probably come from her oncologist radiologist. And she does not see him until March 15,2013.  What the heck!  I hope that they will move that appointment up!

With all that IS going on with my  mom, I need to cut back on one of my part time jobs.  I think the college job will be going.  I like it, but there is a lot of drama with the other instructors.  I am hoping that with the college job out of the picture, that I will be less stressed, I will have more time for mom AND I can elevate my eBay sales to be more substantial.

As usual our plans will be very flexible.  That is just the way things are for now.  But, I need to find a happy medium and when I do that, things will not be stressing me out so much.

Feeling Much Better and a Few Updates

 

Things have calmed down around here for me and I am feeling MUCH less stress than I was earlier this week.  I did think my head was going to explode!  But we are all ( me, my husband and mom) in a routine  around here and things have settled down a bit.  At least I can breath.

A few updates:  Budget..... Oh, the budget is non existent.  We are flying by the seat of our pants with out budget and that is okay for now.  As things settle down I think the budget will be more manageable.   There were some big expenses that occurred earlier this month.  The leaky roof was repaired by my husband and son.   They had to buy shingles, new plywood, under sheathing stuff, nails and all that goes along with it.  The cost was about $500.00.  We did pay cash for that so my savings account took a hit.

Dental Expenses.  I did know this was coming as hubs had a crown put in right before Christmas.  That was $350.00 after insurance and that was a charge to the card.  

Eating Out.    With all the drama and chaos with my mom being in the hospital AND the holidays we have eaten out a lot. Some was paid with cash and some was paid with credit.  Oh well...

Home Decor.    This for for my mom's room in our home.  I fixed it up with new curtains, new rug, new sheets, and other stuff.  This was a charge of $167.00 at K Mart.  Surprisingly she really like her room and it was worth every penny. She has since brought a few things from her home and that's fine too.







Looking Ahead.  We went to the surgeon on Thursday to get her stitches out from the removal of the cancer from her scalp.  the surgeon said the biopsy said the cancer was the breast cancer and not basal cell cancer.  What does that mean?  Well, the surgeon said that she will have to have radiation to that area and that may be true.  We will have to talk to her team of oncologists and see what they will do about it. Those appointments are coming up in the next couple of weeks.

So for now, we are all doing good.  Mom is enjoying her time out here in the country with us and we are enjoying her staying with us.  She may go back and forth between her home and ours but when she does decide to go back we will have to hook her up with Life Alert.

One Day At A Time.  That is how we will get through this.

photo credit

A Little Stressed

 

At times I can hardly catch my breath.  The stress of everything lately is taking it toll.  I see myself walking around with a smile on my face like everything is okay, but deep down inside I am waiting for the other shoe to fall. The other shoe being that mom will end of in the hospital again, and when she gets out I will have to care for her full time.... or not. She definitely could do great for the long term and nothing will go wrong for a while.  That would be wonderful! 

Work is stressing me out, lately I hate driving to all the places they send me.  Before, I was okay with it.  Is it that we are getting busier or I really don't care?  It could be all the driving.  I drive an hour to work and then when I get there I drive all day and then after work I drive another hour home.  Crazy, ain't it?

My other part time job (at the college) is stressful because I have to leave my other job early one day a week to be at the scanning lab on time so I can then work til 9 PM at night.  What was I thinking?  I don't know.  Looking back, when I took this position, I had NO job so that plays a part in the decision process.

Today, we put cable in my mom's room that she is staying in while here.  After the cable guys left, it stopped working and I was so frustrated that I wanted to scream.  The customer service rep on the phone was too condescending and I practically hung up on her.

And.... how long will my mom be staying here with us?  I am leaving that up to her.  If and when she goes back to her house she will have to get a Life Alert necklace.  But what if she decides to stay here?  That will be stressing me out too.

I am so over all this drama and stress.  I want to run away.  You understand, don't you?

image credit

Here We Go. Again.

mom and my daughter in the ER

 

Our New Year's started out less than stellar.   My mom who  has her own health issues with metastatic cancer was and is back in the hospital.  Since my dad passed in early December, mom was content to stay in her own home.  She was enjoying her freedom by doing what she wanted when she wanted.  I would stop by weekly and definitely call every day.

When I called her this Saturday she was working a jigsaw puzzle and was planning on staying inside due to the yucky weather we were experiencing.  She sounded fine and had no complaints except for a little swelling above her left eye.  She brushed that off and said it was from sleeping on that side of her face for most of the night.

Sunday afternoon she calls me.  She tells me that she lost consciousness on Saturday.  She said she was on the floor of her home at her front door trying to get out to get help. ( Mom did not want Life Alert)   She could not walk, but she could crawl.  She said she laid there by the front door hoping a neighbor would see her.  She then crawled back to the living room and attempted to get up on one of her living room chairs, but could not.  She then crawled to her recliner and managed to get herself up in the recliner.  She has no idea how long this episode lasted and she does not recall talking to me on Saturday.  But, she said later that evening she did get up and make herself a pizza.

When she called me on Sunday she was experiencing numbness, dizziness, and her speech was compromised.  My daughter and I rushed down to see her and to also see what was going on.  When we got there, mom's gait was uneven, and her blood pressure was skyrocketing.  We called 911 and they transported her to the hospital.  And that is where she has been ever since.


While were in the ER, she tells me that she has been seeing different images, hallucinations of sorts.  I asked her how long this has been going on and she said for a few days.  She sees birds flying, rows of shoes lined up in an orderly fashion and old men smoking cigarettes.  That little bit of information caught the doctor's attention.  You could just see it in their eyes and facial expressions,even though they did not want to show it.

 There are of course some speculations that her neuro onocologist is following up on but we  have no clear cut answers yet. She has had multiple diagnostic tests, CT's, MRI's, spinal taps and endless blood work.  She  has been in MD Anderson since Sunday night and maybe because it was a holiday we still have no results just yet.   I have seen her MRI images, and  working diagnostic imaging (ultrasound)  I know  just enough to see that there is something there in her brain.  but I certainly don't know enough to know what it is, good or bad.   We or hoping to get more concrete information and a diagnosis today. 

Everything budget related has gone kaput.  We have charged stuff to fix our roof to prepare for mom to come live here.  I have fixed up her room here with new carpet, new bedding, and yes, I charged that crap too.    We have spent too much money on eating out because we are hardly home.  I have been spending wasting time on eBay shopping for crap I don't really need but bought it anyway.  To tell you the truth, I don't really give a rat's ass right now.

So we wait.  Sigh........

Blogging Pause

Saturday morning at 7:35 AM, my dad passed away.  He did not suffer and he went quickly.  If you are a long time reader of my blog you know he had several health issues and was needing full time care. 

I will be taking a "blogging pause" to help mom with details and arrangements.  Dad was 90 and now he is no longer suffering.  It is a blessed relief that he is now in heaven with the Lord.

 

 

One Day At A Time

One of the most important things I need to remember is to take each day as it comes and try not to worry about what may or may not happen. My parents are both doing about the same. Dad has oxygen and a nebulizer to help with his breathing. Mom is focusing on taking care of him. I will be going over on Tuesday to sit with dad while mom goes to follow up appointment regarding her recent PET exam.



So for now we are back to our normal. Taking it one day at a time and enjoying each day the best way we can. And on that note, I enjoyed today by doing this................

Yes, I put my Christmas Tree up. This is the earliest that I have put my tree up, and it feels pretty good! It has definitely upped my holiday spirit!

Now to plan for Thanksgiving :-)

Relaxed and Ready

On Friday, my husband and I made a a quick getaway to St. Augustine, Florida. It is only  about an 1 1/2 hour away.  When we left we did not have a clear plan or destination.

They have the best waffles

    After a quick breakfast, we decided that we would visit and stay at St. Augustine again.  I called Marriott rewards and turned in my voucher for a free night.  We checked into the room and then took of for the "Old City" and the "San Marcos" fort.

Matanzas Bay Lighthouse in distance

We spent most of the afternoon walking around downtown and doing some window shopping.  The streets were not that crowded and the weather was cool, low humidity and breezy. 

The Fort at St Augustine

It was a great day to just relax and enjoy the sites and clear my mind. After a quick dinner, we continued to stroll around the city.  It was getting dark and the "ghost hunting tours" were out in full force.  We did the "walking ghost tour" last time we visited St. Augustine.   So we did not join in any tours officially.

In fact we did our own ghost tour.  The cemeteries were our first stop...

 But we did not capture any "orbs" or unexplained ribbons of light.     It was not for lack of trying.

We then headed back to the fort, which is not open for you to go in but you can walk around the fort and explore it......in the dark if you dare.

We walked the perimeter and did not see any ghosts of those who lived there previously......

But we did see these  two "shadow figures" along the front wall of the fort :)  

Wayne and I

  It was a great time and we are both ready to face the new week with its challenges.  One of which is meeting with Hospice to talk about care for my dad.  Yep.... it's definitely going to be a challenge. 

A big thanks to Carla, Louise and Laura for their support of Operation Christmas Child!!  Thanks ladies, you are the best. 

And check out Carla's latest giveaway!! 

Just a Break, Nothing Permanent

Time flies when you are reflecting.  The break was  not intentional, but evidently it was needed.  Let me first say that my parents are both doing good and things are still the same with them.  Well, my mom did discover that her cancer has traveled to her spine.  Yep, the MRI of her spine that she had during her last hospitalization did reveal that lovely bit of information. The docs have changed her meds and she has a PET scan coming up later this month to make sure the cancer is not anywhere else. Mom is a trooper and is handling it all very well.

These last couple of weeks have gone by quickly.  There have been some positive changes too.  I have another  job.  It is as a ultrasound clinical adjunct from the college I graduated from 12 years ago.  It is a part time position, (only 10 hrs a week) so I think I can handle it.  It may grow into more hours next semester, but the good thing is the other instructors know my situation and are very flexible.

Financially...... I think it took me two weeks to ACTUALLY look at my bank account.  Oh yeah.... I was just winging it with the debit card and the credit card.  Yesterday, I did pull up my accounts and had a look.  It was not pretty, but it definitely could have been worse. 

My eBay is keeping me busy and sane. The small income it provides definitely helps out.

My husband and I are living day to day.  We make no long term plans because we have learned that situations can change with a phone call.  That may not sound like the best way to do things financially, but for now the stress is off.  And yes I can admit that I was super stressed and probably still am a bit wore out from all the stuff going on with my parents.

There will come a time when we ( my husband and I) can make some some more long range goals and plans.  But that is not going to happen right now.  We are enjoying each and every day we have with our family.    Speaking of family, it is time to get the grandson and head out to SeaWorld for the day.

Thanks for all who emailed to check on me.  Much appreciated :)

Lisa

 

Whoa, Here We Go Again!

The best laid plans can always meet up with a detour.  Yesterday they certainly did.  Mom called me early in the morning and said she was having difficulty with her right side again and she was having severe headaches.  I told her I ould get dressed and be on my way to her house to take her to the ER. 

Within the next half hour, I get another phone call from my mom but only it was not my my mom on the phone.  It was the paramedic calling to let me know that they were taking her to the ER.  Evidently mom felt bad enough to call 911, which is a blessing in itself. 

I get to the ER and was allowed back to see her, but as soon as I walk in the room she is having a  Grand Mal seizure.  Talk about a scary scene!  The docs and nurses quickly got it under control with medications and afer about an hour mom was starting to bet back to her old self. 

The ER did the the usual round of tests which included CT's MRI's and Xray's.  I spoke to her nurse this morning and she said that there wan nothing unusual seen on her tests.  From my past experience with the hospital I have learned to wait and see when it comes to tests results.  It seems there is always another test to be done and the interpertation of that test is somewhat suggestive by whoever is reading the images or reading the results.  So, I am happy with the pending results, but I will definitely wait and see.

This episode of mom's puts me back in her house taking care of dad. Again.  it is deja vu all over again.
But, I am hoping that she will get to come home very soon and that I can get back to what I need to do at my house.

The post about the $500 Holiday Challenge will be delayed a day or so, depending on how things go with mom.  I am prety darn busy with taking care of dad and running to the hospital :)

Wrapping Up Wednesday: One hurdle down, one to go

This makes me smile!  :)

Tomorrow is my first day back to work.  I have been staying busy all day trying not to get too nervous.  This morning I went down to my mom's to take her to see the neuro-onocologist.  We had to arrive 45 minutes early so she could fill out paperwork before the appointment.  The tech called us back on time, but we still had to wait for the Doctor for another 45 minutes.  During the appointment is was determined that she did not need chemotherapy at this time and she will go back in 6 months for a follow up.

We then had to go to Medical Records and pick up her AFLAC forms.  She has a cancer policy with AFLAC this particular policy did pay her a considerable amount the first time she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Since the cancer has metastasized it wont be as much, but still a pretty good amount.

After that, we went to the grocery store and then the credit union.  This is where things got a little complicated.  I had been keeping a running total of what we had been spending on the bathroom renovation, the new bed, and the groceries I had been buying for the last 8 weeks.  I told mom that total.  I think she was shocked.  I don't know why.... the totals were kept in a notebook on the counter in her kitchen.   Then we talked about compensation for me.  If you recall, I had just started a new teaching job after being on unemployment for 3 months.  9 days into the job, I get a call from the ER nurse that my mom is being admitted because she has had a stroke. 

Mom gets on the phone and wants me to go to her house and check on my 90 year old dad.. and there I stayed for 9 weeks. I have no income during this time, only my husband's.  We are a two income family.     And after 9 weeks of living with my parents and taking care of them .... well, mom has recovered enough to resume her normal life.  I thank God daily that he has answered all the prayers that were being said for my mom. 

Getting back to the money.  Mom and I went back and forth and discussed the amount that seemed fair to both of us.  We decided on an amount, but when she was done with her transactions at the teller window, she handed me a cashier check that was more than the amount agreed upon. What a relief and a blessing as well.

Tomorrow is the first day...... my nerves are jumping and my stomach is turning.  "I can do it!"

ER Adventure

 Last night was another long evening.  It all started yesterday afternoon when my husband told me he was not feeling well.  This was after he left my parents house and went out to our house to get some of the remodeling done.   He then said that when he finished the clean up, that he was going to take himself to the ER near the house....


My husband avoids going to the doctor like the plague.  When he says he is taking himself   to the ER, well... he really does not feel well.  Needless to say, I was concerned.  But here I am at my parents house 30 miles away and I can't leave them alone.    My mind was going a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out a way to get me out to my husband and someone here to watch my parents. 


I called J, my oldest.  He was working nearby and filled him in on the situation.  He was willing to come over, but he needed someone to pick up his step daughter after school and watch her.  So, I called my daughter and son-in law and they offered to pick up the step daughter and bring her to their house so J could come to my parents. 


As soon as everyone had a place to be and my parents were covered I took off to my house to meet my husband.  It takes about 30 minutes to get there, but I think I shaved a few minutes off my normal time. 


Come to find out, he had been monitoring his blood pressure for the last few days and it has been elevated.  (How did I miss this?)  When I took it at the house, it was 160/101.  Yeah.... so off to the ER we went.  They checked him in and evaluated him and in about 30 minutes he was in a room.  


They did blood work, EKG, checked his sugar,  and monitored his vitals.  His BP stayed elevated, but everything else was perfect.    My husband has had issues with his BP in the past, but did not take his meds as directed.  And this is what happens when you don't..... it gets all wacky and you start to feel like crap. 


After about 2 hours in the ER, they decided that there was nothing critically wrong and that he should follow up with his primary doctor.  I will be calling to make an appt for him next week.  We will both be getting more exercise in because right now we just sit around my parents house waiting on them. 


It was a long evening, and I hope we don't have to do that again for a long time.

 Photo credit:  taberandrew
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I Get To Sleep In My Own Bed Tonight

Front Yard with our Dogs

 This is a happy day for me and my husband.  Today, my son and my son-in-law will be bringing my  bed over to my mom's house.  I.cannot.wait.   For the last 5 weeks my husband and I have been sleeping on the couches, and spare beds.  It has sucked.    Our quality of sleep has definitely been less than spectacular. 

We decided to bring our bed over to my mom's house because her oncologist has decided to  move forward with her radiation treatments this month.  Currently, mom lives just about 5 minutes from the hospital and since she will be going every day for 15 consecutive visits it makes more sense to stay here.  Also, her church family will be helping out taking mom to and from her radiation appointments. ( I cannot say enough wonderful things about her church family, they have been awesome to our family!)  This is good in two ways.  She can visit with her friends and I don't have to find a sitter for my dad so I can take her.  

The plan is still to move my parents out to our house ( 30 minutes away) after her treatments.  She is excited about the move, but is in agreement about staying here for now.  This is working to our advantage as my kids  and husband still have to get their rooms ready at my house.  There is painting to be done on two bedrooms and we are remodeling a bathroom to make it more user friendly (taking out tub and installing shower) for mom and dad.  These are the projects that are to be completed within the next few weeks.  Fingers crossed!

Tomorrow is the first day of the 10 pound weight loss challenge
at Newlyweds On a Budget.  Yes, I have joined yet another challenge.  Stop on over and check it out.  Lots of great prizes for the winner(s)!   
 


  
 



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On The Agenda For Today

Today I am taking my mom to see her radiation oncologist, the appointment is a follow-up to the MRI she had on Monday.  The MRI is to check and see how her brain is healing post surgery.  And to keep an eye on the cancer in her skull. At the first visit, the doctor stated that he will evaluate her status regarding treatment of her cancer after her brain has time to heal.  He estimates that will take about 2-3 months. 


After we get home from the doctor's visit, we are planning to get dad outside today and sit in the sun for a awhile. Our goal is to get my dad on a regular, some what normal schedule.  In the recent past, dad will stay up until about 2 or 3 in the morning watching TV or reading.  This means he will want to sleep most of the day. Staying up late with dad has cut into my normal sleep schedule and I am definitely suffering from lack of sleep.


At dad's doctor's visit yesterday, we consulted with his doctor about using Melatonin to help my dad sleep through the night.  He said that was okay for us to use.  Last night, we gave him 5mg of Melatonin at about 10:00 PM and it worked like a champ.  Dad slept ALL night which meant we ALL slept all night.  I am feeling pretty good today.  Definitely better than the last few days.

******Due to a scheduling error, we go back to oncologist tomorrow.******

  Have you hand any experience using Melatonin to help you sleep?  


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Radiation Doctor Visit Update

Mom and I went to the consult with the radiation doctor today.  Overall, it was an informative visit.  We had a lot of questions that the doctor was able to answer.  What we found that was positive (in a way)  is that her cancer is actually in the skull as opposed to being in the brain.  She does have a small palpable area on the top of her head that has been there for about a year.  She did have the palpable area checked out by  her family practice doctor, but he thought it was nothing to worry about.   Another positive is that the bone cancer is "slow growing".  It is not getting fed by any blood vessels, so it does not have the opportunity grow out of control.

So, the skull cancer did not directly cause the right sided paralysis.  It was determined that the hematoma was the cause of the problems.  And what caused the hematoma.....it may have been her blood pressure that got out of control.  Not really sure.  She is regaining mobility and strength on the right side, and everyone is pleased with her progress. They are saying she did NOT have a stroke.    More good news. Basically, the cancer was an incidental finding related to the hematoma.  Are you as confused as I am?


Mom will have a follow-up MRI in about 4 weeks to see how her brain is healing and to check the status of the cancer.  At that time, The Radiation Doc will determine the treatment plan for mom.  We are all pretty optimistic at this point.  Today is definitely a good day.



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