Third Time is Not A Charm

There is a pattern here that is repeating itself. It involves my oldest son, a 34 year old electrician......with a drinking problem. This weekend, he was in a fender bender. He rear-ended a Mercedes at a stoplight. He did stop and he exchanged information with the driver Mercedes. The police were called and while they were waiting for the police to arrive he called me.


Usually when he calls at night, late at night it's never a good thing. He proceeded to tell me that he was in an accident and that he's been drinking and that he knows he is going to jail. So what do you say when your son calls you with that information? I guess you don't want to get that call from a child but when you do what you say?

I just agreed with him that yes he should not have been drinking and yes he should not have been driving and yes he's going to jail. After the cops got there and he was arrested I called his sister to let her know. His truck which is paid for isn't her name so he could afford the insurance. We just wanted to make sure that no one was hurt during this accident and so far as we know there were no injuries except the vehicles in question.

This is his third time being charged with the DUI. We don't know what his bloodbath blood alcohol level was. He refused the breathalyzer which results in automatic license suspension of 12 months. Florida law is pretty clear when this is your third time being charged and convicted of a DUI.

You stand to lose your license for 10 years. You will pay between $2000 and $4000 in fines. You will pay for your counseling. You pay for everything when you're charged and convicted of a DUI. And you will serve a mandatory 30 days in Jail at least!

This is such a mess for our family. I should say it's more of a mess for my son but the no matter how hard we try it tends to affect us as well. Of course this involves money. My children inherited CDs for my mom. But the CDs are in a safe deposit box in the bank. And mom's estate is going through probate so we don't have access to that safety deposit box or herother bank accounts.

The boy is going to need some money for his lawyer. And God knows, he needs a lawyer this time. I'm going to let him borrow money from his lawyer against his inheritance. He will sign a paper stating that I will get back when he borrowed from his inheritance so I won't be out anymore money.

There's another fly in the ointment with the story. I rented my mom's house to him and his girlfriend for operating costs to help them out. Yes, I do know that I am an enabler. But I always have eternal hope for his success. But I might be the problem for him to obtain his success because I do enable him all the time. My concern is that was when he goes to jail for his mandatory 30 days how's the rent going to be paid? His girlfriend is not stable, can't hold a job and is part of his problem too.

The plus side of this is that they only signed a six-month lease. So at the end of December the will be looking for a new place to live. That's if things don't go smoothly and the rent is not paid. I have a feeling that the girlfriends mother would pay the rent just so the girlfriend wouldn't have to move back home. So I probably don't have to worry too much about the rent being paid.


What I'm truly hoping for with this third arrest for his DUI, is that he will go to rehab. He needs help, and we want him to get better. He doesn't see that he needs rehab he thinks counseling will do it. I think it's time for us just to let him go and let God continue the work in him. I have put my son on my Sunday school prayer list for a long time. I just have to let God take over and I have to stop enabling him. But honestly, it's going to be hard for me to stop. I have done it for so long.

He meets with hs lawyer today so we should have some news later on about the outcome of the situation. He's going to get the truck out of his sisters name and into his girlfriend's name. I think that's a mistake, but that's his mistake to make. I think he just needs to have lose everything to realize that he does need serious serious help.



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Tuesday's Agenda

The stress/anxiety that I was experiencing last week has since gone away.  I am feeling more in control (even though I may have no control of anything) and more importantly I can breathe!!   Last week, I was a mess!  But conversations with my mom, my husband and my kids have put many things in perspective.  It is time to move forward and enjoy each day.  I will try like heck to not worry about things I cannot control and let God handle the rest!





I have been spending a lot of time on Flickr and have uploaded almost all of my family photos to the site.  I have also joined a couple of "groups" and have spent a lot or relaxing non productive time viewing all the cool pictures.  Lately I have been fascinated with vintage signs.  The one above is of a local but out of business car dealership.  It brings back memories as the owner's son and I use to play golf as teenagers.

But on to today's list of things to get done.  This is my day off from both jobs so mom and I will be picking up my grandson and taking him to the park for a small picnic.  No doubt he will not want to eat but just play, but that is okay.

I did get my online bills paid and I just have to pass by the BrightHouse office to pay the cable.  There is also the credit card to pay, but I will send a chunk of money the end of this week when my husband and I both get paid.   The credit card balance has been creeping up and up and it is time to put a stop to that for awhile.

Mom is going back to her home tomorrow.  She has already contacted Life Alert and they will be at her house on Thursday to get her hooked up with the necklace and stuff that she will need to feel secure.   That is a relief for ALL of us! 

Since our budget is all out of whack for the beginning of January I am not going to worry too much about it.  We will get back to the debt reduction very soon and then start working on the mortgage.  Making sure mom is happy and doing well is our primary concern for now.  She enjoys staying out here with us and we enjoy having her.  I am looking forward to her return visit!



This is another great picture of the sign at a local shopping center.  It is a old strip mall but back in the day it was the place to go!   I went to this shopping center when I was 16 with my boyfriend's (now husband) mother to pick up his birthday present which was a pair or Acme cowboy boots.  I remember it like it was yesterday!


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Here are my eBay sales for last week

A Little Stressed

 

At times I can hardly catch my breath.  The stress of everything lately is taking it toll.  I see myself walking around with a smile on my face like everything is okay, but deep down inside I am waiting for the other shoe to fall. The other shoe being that mom will end of in the hospital again, and when she gets out I will have to care for her full time.... or not. She definitely could do great for the long term and nothing will go wrong for a while.  That would be wonderful! 

Work is stressing me out, lately I hate driving to all the places they send me.  Before, I was okay with it.  Is it that we are getting busier or I really don't care?  It could be all the driving.  I drive an hour to work and then when I get there I drive all day and then after work I drive another hour home.  Crazy, ain't it?

My other part time job (at the college) is stressful because I have to leave my other job early one day a week to be at the scanning lab on time so I can then work til 9 PM at night.  What was I thinking?  I don't know.  Looking back, when I took this position, I had NO job so that plays a part in the decision process.

Today, we put cable in my mom's room that she is staying in while here.  After the cable guys left, it stopped working and I was so frustrated that I wanted to scream.  The customer service rep on the phone was too condescending and I practically hung up on her.

And.... how long will my mom be staying here with us?  I am leaving that up to her.  If and when she goes back to her house she will have to get a Life Alert necklace.  But what if she decides to stay here?  That will be stressing me out too.

I am so over all this drama and stress.  I want to run away.  You understand, don't you?

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Relaxed and Ready

On Friday, my husband and I made a a quick getaway to St. Augustine, Florida. It is only  about an 1 1/2 hour away.  When we left we did not have a clear plan or destination.

They have the best waffles

    After a quick breakfast, we decided that we would visit and stay at St. Augustine again.  I called Marriott rewards and turned in my voucher for a free night.  We checked into the room and then took of for the "Old City" and the "San Marcos" fort.

Matanzas Bay Lighthouse in distance

We spent most of the afternoon walking around downtown and doing some window shopping.  The streets were not that crowded and the weather was cool, low humidity and breezy. 

The Fort at St Augustine

It was a great day to just relax and enjoy the sites and clear my mind. After a quick dinner, we continued to stroll around the city.  It was getting dark and the "ghost hunting tours" were out in full force.  We did the "walking ghost tour" last time we visited St. Augustine.   So we did not join in any tours officially.

In fact we did our own ghost tour.  The cemeteries were our first stop...

 But we did not capture any "orbs" or unexplained ribbons of light.     It was not for lack of trying.

We then headed back to the fort, which is not open for you to go in but you can walk around the fort and explore it......in the dark if you dare.

We walked the perimeter and did not see any ghosts of those who lived there previously......

But we did see these  two "shadow figures" along the front wall of the fort :)  

Wayne and I

  It was a great time and we are both ready to face the new week with its challenges.  One of which is meeting with Hospice to talk about care for my dad.  Yep.... it's definitely going to be a challenge. 

A big thanks to Carla, Louise and Laura for their support of Operation Christmas Child!!  Thanks ladies, you are the best. 

And check out Carla's latest giveaway!! 

The New Job...... Is History

No, that did not take long at all.  The new job is in the the past.  The determining factor was the stress and its effects on me.  When I am stressed to the max, I experience vertigo.  Vertigo so severe that I cannot even get up out of bed til noon.  That is what happened today.  The vertigo is a sure sign that I will have to call it quits.  It is not worth it to me to be physically ill over a job. 

Yes, It will suck until I can secure another job.  But for now, I will be just fine.  This afternoon I will be taking my grandson to the park..... and that will definitely make me happy and relaxed.  Tomorrow is a new day!  Thanks to all for your support! 

This New Job..... Is Kinda "Iffy"

Princess, she makes me smile.

This new job may not be the one.  Oh I know it has only been one week.  But there are definite signs of trouble in paradise. I went to work on Tuesday and by all accounts the studies I was turning in were acceptable.  Come to find out, that was not the case.  According to one of the radiologists, she referred to my studies as "garbage".  That is a real ego booster, let me tell ya!    After my conversation with her I then found out from my supervisor that I was going to be partnered with another technologist for the remainder of the day so she could critique my images and assist me with improving the quality of my studies.

Luckily the technologist I was partnered with is a very nice individual and easy to get along with.  She was able to help me with improving my manipulation of the ultrasound machine to get better images.  And I really did appreciate her help in this area!   She also helped me with the scanning protocols that these radiologists prefer. All in all, it was beneficial in many ways.  It was also stressful and eye-opening as well.

This particular center is high volume in vascular studies.  I reeeaalllllyyyy have never liked doing a lot of vascular studies.  Did I know this going into the job? Yes.  But, I thought I could overcome my dislike for these particular studies and rise above it.    Not so much.   My dislike for vascular studies stems from the fact that I struggle with them.  I have had help learning how to do them, but I still struggle.  

 Tuesday was different to say the least.   And here it is Thursday and I have called in sick.  I have been throwing up most of the early morning...... I don't handle stress well at all.  It pretty much handles me.

Yep, probably going to let this job go.

Here is the outcome: