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Works for Me Wednesday: Saying No

Another problem I have is not being able to always  manage my daily activities.  I like to to different things and hang out with friends both old and new.  But, when I commit to go somewhere or do an activity with someone I feel an added layer of stress to go along with the commitment. 

After I have said yes (and then don't really want to go or do not have the time to go) I stress about telling the person I have changed my mind and I can't go. 

So, now I give myself a day to think about what the function is and how will it benefit me ( by actually easing stress because it might be fun) or will the stress I am feeling is actually worth the commitment.

Since there is already so much going on in my life, I have found taking the time to consider any and all benefits before I commit I have much better control of my stress level. 

What about you?  How do you control the stress in your daily activities?


Tanner said...

I think that's good advice; giving yourself some time before a commitment. Too bad that way too many people want a response "yesterday". I don't seem to have a lot of issue saying I won't go to someplace, since I rarely go out anyway.

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~Carla~ said...

I've come to a point now that I do try to say "no" if it's "too much". I simply don't have the time or energy to put into stuff I really don't want to do, nor HAVE to do! ;)

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Live and Learn said...

Sounds like you have a good system in place that works for you. My problem is that I need to commit to some things or my tendency is to always stay home. However, usually when I get out into the activity, I enjoy it. With that being said, I try to not over schedule.

sluggy said...

Good advice to give yourself time to really examine whether you need to say yes or not. The phrase "Being selfish" has really gotten a bad wrap in our culture. And as woman, the culture dictates that we be the nurturers at all time, even at the detriment to our own well being. Being seen as selfless is the highest goal for a woman and makes you better than all the rest.

Sometimes the answer IS to be selfish. You must take care of self first in order to have something of yourself left to give to others. Maybe we should start calling it being Self-full instead?

Nunzio Bruno said...

One of my biggest problem is saying no too! The way I beat it is trying to plan my weeks on Sunday as best I can. All the appointments, meetings, courses I teach, all blocked in. Then office time and volunteer stuff goes next, and that way I know exactly what I have free. It makes it easier for me to say no - even though I hate to - because I'm not rationalizing any more. It's really just a matter of if I physically have the time or not :)

Jules@Faithful With a Few said...

I completely can relate! I am a terrible friend because I avoid making commitments at all costs. I was never able to explain why, but this makes sense. The commitment is an added layer of stress. I am always ok once I am there, but getting there just exhausts my mind. I hear ya!