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A Little Guidance Please

This is a church post. I need advice, input, guidance and prayer. Background first. I attend a small neighborhood church, Southern Baptist by affiliation. The time has come to appoint new and younger deacons to serve. There is a nomination that is under consideration that really is bothering me. These are the verses that I am referencing for this argument:

The qualifications for deacons (Acts 6:3; 1 Tim 3:8-12)
But select from among you, brethren, seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we may put in charge of this task. (Acts 6:3)

Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain, but holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons if they are beyond reproach. Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be husbands of one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households. (1 Tim 3:8-12)

The man currently being considered is twice. He has admitted to me that it was not biblical. He kicked her out. This was many years ago. He remarried and was widowed. Over the last few years he has displayed an interest ( everyone has noticed and commented, we are only human) in the piano player. She is married. She is married. He knows she is married,Everyone knows she is married. She seems to enjoy the attention from this man. He also cannot keep a secret. He knows everyone's business and will tell everyone about everyone else....

Whatever...... The situation is a huge mess.

Now.... he is nominated as a deacon????? What the Heck is going on. He is not a man of good reputation. He is divorced. He is chasing the skirts of a married woman. He is an idle gossiper...

When it became evident that the nomination was being made, my gut has been in knots. Cramps, upset stomach, and a few visits to the the bathroom.

What does my husband say, you might be asking. He too was nominated to serve as a deacon. He is a man of few words, but past conversations about this particular subject, he too is concerned with the divorced man's reputation and his ability to serve. Will my husband say anything? That remains to be seen. Tonight is the quarterly business meeting where the topic is open for debate.

I will say something. I cannot be of good cheer, nor will my stomach settle down until I do.
Please pray for me.


Kiki said...

I am praying for you in this difficult situation. You are right in this, I hope you are heard. Blessings, Kiki

Annabelle said...

My prayers are with you tonight Lisa.

Anonymous said...

I don't know you, I don't know your church. I am a Christian, but what if I wasn't. Would I feel drawn to Christ with this post? I understand you're wanting advice and prayer, but I know you have an audience of people reading this that may not be drawn to Christ because of the very private issues you have made public here. Wanting advice/prayer is a great thing and God encourages that in His word, but I'm not sure this blog is the best place for that because the fact that you don't who could be reading it.

The Lord desires unity amongst His children. I felt drawn to pass this scripture on to you.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Make every effort.

In His Love,

Anonymous said...

There are Biblical reasons that divorce is "okay" so I don't know this man's situation. I am a child of divorce and a Christian but am not accepted into church families because of the divorce so I am sensitive to the church rejecting someone based solely on divorce.

I do find the other reasons you listed as legitimate reasons for this man not to serve as a deacon.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lisa,

I truly don't think this has to do with his past....for past is past when repentance has taken place! It is his future I would question, if he is looking upon another mans wife he needs disciplined for his own good.

Annabelle said...

My prayers are with you tonight Lisa.