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Saturday Morning

I did get up early this morning as I usually do.  I like to enjoy the quietness of the house all by myself.  It lets me relax and gather my thoughts.  This morning did not go as planned.  My husband got up right after me.  I thought he was just going to the bathroom and  would go back to bed.  Nope.  He was up for the rest of the day.  Normally that would not really matter, but I needed some time alone to myself.  And having him up just about put me over the edge.  I felt cheated out of my couple of hours of "me"time and I lost it and started crying.  Yes, nerves are shot.

The thought that my son will be going to jail ( he did it to himself) just about does me in. Well, no it DOES do me in!   I actually told a close friend that my son is going to jail... and to have to "verbalize" it and "hear" those words come out of my mouth... well, it it something I never thought I would have to say.  I cannot believe it.  But it is true. "My son is going to jail".

I managed to pull it together this morning, and after my eyes weren't so red from crying I went to Walgreen's to get some detergent. When I got back  my husband was getting out of the shower and had decided to get some odd jobs done in the garage.  What a nice guy!  I get to have the house to myself for a couple of hours.  I am pretty sure he thinks I am crazy ( he probably figured that out a long time ago!) but he loves me and by getting out of the house I can get some things done without interruption.  Thanks babe.

J (my son) will get a call from his probation officer next week when the warrant is issued for his arrest.  He will go down to her office and turn himself in.  When I talk to him, he is quiet and deep in thought.  He knows he make big mistakes and that he will have to suck it up and do the time.  The probation officer said it won't be for that long.   I hope so.  We could get a lawyer, ( we have a family lawyer) but we just don't have the money for it.  It would be 1500.00 dollars.  If you remember, bail was 1000.00 dollars.I guess we will have to see if he gets a reasonable bail this time.  Fingers crossed!

Side note:   The guy that put J in the hospital with a cracked skull is also in the same jail.  It is a huge facility, and his probation officer will make the jail authorities aware.  If J sees the guy that cracked his skull, well.... I just hope their paths do not cross.

I am suppose to have all the family over next Saturday for an Early Thanksgiving Dinner.  I just don't think I can get through the day if J is in jail at that time.  It will break my heart~  

Second Side Note: My mental health day was wonderful!  I had a blast with my grandson and daughter at the petting farm.  It was a beautiful day, and all went smooth.  I can't wait to do it again next month with them. 

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Jane said...

Hi Lisa: I can completely identify with your post...on all counts. Just substitute "ex-husband" for son.
My favourite time is early Sat. and Sun. morning too and feel cheated when my partner or daughter get up at the same time. It's MY time - to read the newspaper, take a cup of coffee outside and "think", catch up on blog posts...
My ex spent 4 years in jail leaving me and my daughter (she was 1 yr. old at the time) to fend for ourselves. I was in teacher's college at the time and it was a very very tough year, but we made it through and so will you and there WILL be better days ahead.
Sending you hugs and understanding.

Jane said...

PS - what a great husband you have!

Sharon said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It really is sad, especially with the holidays coming up. Hopefully he won't be there for long, and it will be a faint memory. Time will heal.

My morning time is on Sundays...I go into our basement (it's finished), and I take the laptop, a cup of coffee and I write some blog posts for the upcoming week. I LOVE being by myself too, but because I'm down in the basement, no one bothers me.

Try to enjoy some time to yourself tomorrow morning. It will be a good thing.

Lisa @Cents To Save said...

Jane@ Thanks for your thoughts and hugs. I do remember you suggesting Al-anon in an earlier response. I am working my way towards that.

Sharon@ Thanks for your kind words.You are right, Time will heal and I know that. But you know a momma's heart is tender. :)

jpkittie said...

I am so sorry that you are going through a tough time... just keep all the happy thoughts of your mental health day in your mind... they will help you get through it.

Aloysa said...

A very sad post. I really hope it will all work out for you ... somehow. In times like this we do get a very different appreciation for "me" time, do we?